my name is patrick and i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, sam, for roughly 13 months, and…

my name is patrick and i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, sam, for roughly 13 months, and weve had a lot of great times together. trips, dates, romantic weekends, milestones, many of the things that make a relationship fun and worthwhile. for the first few months of our relationship, sam posted photos from where we went, but never any with me in them. we would always take couples photos and i would take a bunch of her individually, but she would only post the individual photos. i figured this was because our relationship was fairly new and i understood it. but last month she did this again on our trip to new york city. i brought up the subject of posting us as a couple on social media. sam informed me that she would not be posting any photos with me in them until we are engaged. only then will she feel comfortable posting me. i have to admit, though we had not discussed this prior, it bothers me a bit. her social media is presented as a reflection of her life, and right now im excluded from that presentation. i guess its left me feeling a little bit undervalued. questions 1. draft a perception check (using the three - step process of perception checking we learned in lesson 3.4: improving perception) that patrick could utilize to confront his girlfriend sam about this situation. 2. what are your thoughts on this situation? does patrick have unreasonable demands? in your opinion, is it legitimate to withhold your significant other from social media more than a year into the relationship? why might she be engaging in this behavior?

my name is patrick and i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend, sam, for roughly 13 months, and weve had a lot of great times together. trips, dates, romantic weekends, milestones, many of the things that make a relationship fun and worthwhile. for the first few months of our relationship, sam posted photos from where we went, but never any with me in them. we would always take couples photos and i would take a bunch of her individually, but she would only post the individual photos. i figured this was because our relationship was fairly new and i understood it. but last month she did this again on our trip to new york city. i brought up the subject of posting us as a couple on social media. sam informed me that she would not be posting any photos with me in them until we are engaged. only then will she feel comfortable posting me. i have to admit, though we had not discussed this prior, it bothers me a bit. her social media is presented as a reflection of her life, and right now im excluded from that presentation. i guess its left me feeling a little bit undervalued. questions 1. draft a perception check (using the three - step process of perception checking we learned in lesson 3.4: improving perception) that patrick could utilize to confront his girlfriend sam about this situation. 2. what are your thoughts on this situation? does patrick have unreasonable demands? in your opinion, is it legitimate to withhold your significant other from social media more than a year into the relationship? why might she be engaging in this behavior?

Answer

Brief Explanations:

  1. For the perception - check draft: The three - step perception - checking process involves describing the behavior, offering two possible interpretations, and asking for clarification. Patrick could say: "Sam, I've noticed that you post individual photos from our outings but not any of us together (describe behavior). I'm not sure if it's because you want to keep our relationship private until we're engaged or if there's another reason (two interpretations). Can you tell me why you prefer not to post couple photos right now? (ask for clarification)."
  2. Regarding thoughts on the situation: Patrick's demand doesn't seem unreasonable as he has been in a relationship for over a year and feels excluded. Sam's behavior of withholding him from social media for over a year could be due to personal privacy preferences, fear of jinxing the relationship, or not being fully committed yet.

Answer:

  1. "Sam, I've noticed that you post individual photos from our outings but not any of us together. I'm not sure if it's because you want to keep our relationship private until we're engaged or if there's another reason. Can you tell me why you prefer not to post couple photos right now?"
  2. Patrick's demand doesn't seem unreasonable. Sam's behavior could be due to privacy preferences, fear of jinxing the relationship, or lack of full - commitment.