read fatimas paragraph. having moved up north just last year, i experienced my first snowstorm this past…

read fatimas paragraph. having moved up north just last year, i experienced my first snowstorm this past winter. at first, the snow twirled gently, lightly dusting the street, cars, and trees with snowy frosting. then, the snow became a curtain, blinding my view so that i felt cocooned from the outside world. when the snow stopped, ice coated the trees and branches clacked like chattering teeth. which sentence will fatimas teacher most likely ask her to revise? having moved up north just last year, i experienced my first snowstorm this past winter. at first, the snow twirled gently, lightly dusting the street, cars, and trees with snowy frosting. then, the snow became a curtain, blinding my view so that i felt cocooned from the outside world when the snow stopped, ice coated the trees and branches clacked like chattering teeth.

read fatimas paragraph. having moved up north just last year, i experienced my first snowstorm this past winter. at first, the snow twirled gently, lightly dusting the street, cars, and trees with snowy frosting. then, the snow became a curtain, blinding my view so that i felt cocooned from the outside world. when the snow stopped, ice coated the trees and branches clacked like chattering teeth. which sentence will fatimas teacher most likely ask her to revise? having moved up north just last year, i experienced my first snowstorm this past winter. at first, the snow twirled gently, lightly dusting the street, cars, and trees with snowy frosting. then, the snow became a curtain, blinding my view so that i felt cocooned from the outside world when the snow stopped, ice coated the trees and branches clacked like chattering teeth.

Answer

Brief Explanations:

The first - sentence "Having moved up north just last year, I experienced my first snowstorm this past winter." is a bit of a run - on and could be rephrased for better flow and clarity. It combines two ideas (moving north and experiencing the snowstorm) in a way that might be improved. The other sentences use vivid imagery and are well - constructed.

Answer:

Having moved up north just last year, I experienced my first snowstorm this past winter.