read the following excerpt from a student essay. how can the writer best improve his or her organization…

read the following excerpt from a student essay. how can the writer best improve his or her organization? when i was younger, one of my greatest joys was watching dad and mom cook in the kitchen. every night, without fail, dad would prepare beautiful, delicious dinners for me and mom to enjoy. my most vivid memories of him are seeing him at his desk, cutting recipes out of the newspaper to add to his culinary library. im constantly trying out new recipes that i find online. mom was a wonderful baker. without measuring a single ingredient, she would make the most astounding pies, cakes, and cookies. now i love to cook, too. i also like to bake many of the same things mom used to make. i will always be grateful to my parents for teaching me how to appreciate the art of cooking. by removing the sentence about dad finding recipes in the newspaper by discussing the past before moving on to the present

read the following excerpt from a student essay. how can the writer best improve his or her organization? when i was younger, one of my greatest joys was watching dad and mom cook in the kitchen. every night, without fail, dad would prepare beautiful, delicious dinners for me and mom to enjoy. my most vivid memories of him are seeing him at his desk, cutting recipes out of the newspaper to add to his culinary library. im constantly trying out new recipes that i find online. mom was a wonderful baker. without measuring a single ingredient, she would make the most astounding pies, cakes, and cookies. now i love to cook, too. i also like to bake many of the same things mom used to make. i will always be grateful to my parents for teaching me how to appreciate the art of cooking. by removing the sentence about dad finding recipes in the newspaper by discussing the past before moving on to the present

Answer

Brief Explanations:

El ensayo mezcla recuerdos del pasado y acciones actuales de manera desordenada. Discutir primero el pasado y luego el presente mejoraría la organización. La frase sobre el padre que recorta recetas del periódico no es lo que más afecta la organización general.

Answer:

by discussing the past before moving on to the present