using precise language\na field trip for citizens\ndon torbert\n(1) i was so excited when i got up this…

using precise language\na field trip for citizens\ndon torbert\n(1) i was so excited when i got up this morning because today was the day of our field trip. (2) our teacher had been teaching us alabama history all year, and we finally were going to go see the capitol itself in montgomery. (3) i took my sack lunch, checked with in my teacher, and got on the big yellow bus. (4) when we finally got to the city, i couldnt believe how big the capitol was. (5) we took a picture on the front steps as a class. (6) a senator came down and took us into the building. (7) we toured his office and we saw the room where the legislators debate and make the laws. (8) we had a picnic lunch outside on the lawn with the famous name. (9) then we piled back onto the buses and headed home, having learned more about our great state and its political leaders.\nwhich revision of sentence 6 is the most precise?\na a senator came down and took us into the building.\nb the senator met us on the steps and took us inside.\nc a legislative member met us at the front of the building.\nd senator charles powell greeted us and led us into the capitol.\nwhich revision of sentence 8 is the most precise?\na we ate lunch outside near the building.\nb we ate some food afterwards in the outdoors.\nc we ate sack lunches at the picnic tables on goat hill.\nd we had a picnic lunch outside on the lawn with the famous name.

using precise language\na field trip for citizens\ndon torbert\n(1) i was so excited when i got up this morning because today was the day of our field trip. (2) our teacher had been teaching us alabama history all year, and we finally were going to go see the capitol itself in montgomery. (3) i took my sack lunch, checked with in my teacher, and got on the big yellow bus. (4) when we finally got to the city, i couldnt believe how big the capitol was. (5) we took a picture on the front steps as a class. (6) a senator came down and took us into the building. (7) we toured his office and we saw the room where the legislators debate and make the laws. (8) we had a picnic lunch outside on the lawn with the famous name. (9) then we piled back onto the buses and headed home, having learned more about our great state and its political leaders.\nwhich revision of sentence 6 is the most precise?\na a senator came down and took us into the building.\nb the senator met us on the steps and took us inside.\nc a legislative member met us at the front of the building.\nd senator charles powell greeted us and led us into the capitol.\nwhich revision of sentence 8 is the most precise?\na we ate lunch outside near the building.\nb we ate some food afterwards in the outdoors.\nc we ate sack lunches at the picnic tables on goat hill.\nd we had a picnic lunch outside on the lawn with the famous name.

Answer

Brief Explanations:

  • For the first question, Sentence 6 in the original text is “A senator came down and took us into the building.” Option D “Senator Charles Powell greeted us and led us into the Capitol” is more precise as it gives the name of the senator and the specific building (Capitol) which is more detailed and clear compared to other options. Option A is the same as the original, Option B is less specific about the building and the action (just “inside” instead of naming the Capitol), Option C uses “legislative member” instead of “senator” (less specific title) and is also less detailed about the action and the building.
  • For the second question, Sentence 8 in the original text is “We had a picnic lunch outside on the lawn with the famous name.” Option C “We ate sack lunches at the picnic tables on Goat Hill” is more precise. It specifies what kind of lunch (sack lunches), where they ate (at picnic tables) and the specific location (Goat Hill). Option A is too general about the location (just “near the building”), Option B is too vague about the food (“some food”) and the location (“in the outdoors”), Option D is similar to the original but still has the unclear “lawn with the famous name” (Goat Hill is a more specific and known name for that area).

Answer:

First question: D. Senator Charles Powell greeted us and led us into the Capitol. Second question: C. We ate sack lunches at the picnic tables on Goat Hill.